that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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