So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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