I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
