sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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