let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
