Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
