so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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