i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
