I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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