Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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