I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I need a beard to bite.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
