rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
