GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
