i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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