belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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