I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
