I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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