dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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