R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize