New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
