you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
