I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
