Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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