so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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