Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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