non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
