why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Randomize
