omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
