But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The uberlube is also flammable
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
