508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
