we're blogging at a bar
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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