So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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