i think i scared a bird with my dick
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize