Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
