i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
