Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
