I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think your dad took our porno
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
