If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
