Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
