Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i barfeds in our rink
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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