she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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