Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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