you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
