So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
