I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i think i have two assholes
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize