Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
