Rock
Scissors
Fuck
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
