Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I AM VODKA MAN
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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