One girl and one boy is just not enough.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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