Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
