we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
