i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
