yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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