I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
