worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
