So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
