I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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