worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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