Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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