Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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