i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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