I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
