I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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