That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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