i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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