hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
