Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
