a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
we're so committed to being not committed
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
