you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
home. puking in laundry basket.
only you would photoshop your dick
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
